See a hole, Fill a hole.

In THE SECRET there is a powerful section on losing weight. It says to put up pictures around the house of you when you were at your perfect weight, or compose some.

I have very few pics of when I was my ideal weight because I was literally a butterfly with so much energy you couldn't keep me still for 5 seconds, but no matter! I was lurking around facebook photos and found that a friend of mine and her sister put up an ADORABLE photo of them as little girls using the website http://www.faceinhole.com/



So promptly I went to work. I found a photo of Marilyn Monroe, Charlize Theron, and Britney Spears. Marilyn I am very fond of, Charlize is someone I have been compared to in the past (face wise) and Britney, my best cousin Jacki looked like when she was in High School. People would ask for her Autograph all the time, and of course she would sign Jacki, because F that Britney for stealing HER look. I chose this picture because if and when I get married I'm going to be wearing a silver dress. AND THIS one has beautiful stars on it, and now I want it... so I had to try it on.


I am very tasteful and will be wearing a longer gown with less TMD&FM shoes. But I could def shorten it after and, well.

I had wanted to be a Broadway star back in the day and I imagine if I stuck with it, this would be me:

So there you have it! awesome right? But on a more attainable note, I decided in my perfect world, when I meet my perfect Man in time for Christmas this year... This is what I will look like at my goal weight and hair length and everything will be secretly perfect. Ah. :) Now to put these photos up around my apartment.

NOO news is good news! (follow-up on NEWMAN'S OWN)

Immediately following my Friday post I was contacted by Newman's Own Organics' PR Rep Sally Shepard to help me clear up my confusion on the difference between All Natural and Organic. I am posting part of the response from her which I greatly appreciate after my little breakdown. All is right in my food shopping world again, and I will continue to support Newman's Own and now Newman's Own Organics with complete love and trust.

[From NOO's PR REP:]

Read with interest your posting that mentions Newman's Own Organics Coffee and Newman's Own Organic Lemonade. The two are separate companies which is really getting confusing as NOO started as a division of Newman's Own in 1993 by Nell Newman and her business partner Peter Meehan. They became a separate company in 2000. Newman's Own has two organic products, the rest are natural, but it is causing even more consumer confusion.

The one thing I don't want you to be confused about is that there isn't a new ownership at Newman's Own. Mr. Newman set it up since he owned it privately that all his profits from the company and royalties from Newman's Own Organics and Newman's Own would go to the Newman's Own Foundation which will continue his work through a grant system. No one is going to have the chance to buy it. The same people will continue in place in the company who had worked with Mr. N. for many years.

[AND:]

I'd be delighted if you shared the difference between the two companies. Help us in the id situation. As you can see NOO is proud to have startedwith Newman's Own and now able to be a separate company.
You'd be amazed at the number of people reading the blogs. That's why I've wanted to reach out to the food blogging community. Have found bloggers are honest and if they aren't as apt to like a certain kind of product will get other friends or family to participate in the tasting.

She also sent two articles on the subject which you can read up on here: www.newmansownorganics.com/

And read more about Newman's Own at: www.newmansown.com/

And in conclusion I have realized that it has been a LONG TIME since I have read up on Newman's Own not having learned about NOO earlier. To this effect I deeply apologize for my haste in assuming Paul Newman, one of my heros, had done me wrong. RIP cool hand. May your company and Nell's company never go away, and hopefully this post will help enlighten and educate and promote discussions as it did for me with all my friends and relatives this past weekend. I raise my glass of Newman's Own Organic Lemonade and toast to all involved "To Newman's Own and Newman's Own Organics! May they never go hungry."

Organic Products. You’d think. I try my hardest to buy products that are non toxic, that are made from real ingredients by farmers and companies that respect the earth and treat their animals well.
I had a little breakdown at the grocers today. I was shopping for my typical organics, and came upon I understood to already use organic ingredients. After I helped a woman shorter than me reach some cream (not this brand pictured) I grabbed my Organic Cow (pictured!). I am lactose intolerant after taking certain antibiotics when my body defeated Lyme Disease a few years ago. Small price to pay I think to kick a disease. Though I REALLY MISS this milk brand. So I went crazy and picked it up. Especially since I knew I was going to be purchasing some quality coffee products a few aisles later. I am a coffee person. I almost NEED a good cup of coffee to read anything. (I had to go two months without it and it was as if I was coming down from heroine… who was I without my COFFEE?! Moving on.)
There are brands for years I know from researching are a sensible choice. Newman’s Own was one of them. Paul Newman started a company a long time ago that gave me hope that what I was buying was all natural and healthy for me. (much like Ben and Jerry’s). I was browsing PN selection of juices and went to grab the lemonade, when to my surprise, there was an ORGANIC PN choice among what I thought was ALREADY ALL NATURAL AND ORGANIC.
My mind was a little blown, but I let it go kind of, picking up the “organic” PN lemonade and moving on. My mind got the best of me. Did they not put organic lemons in their other lemonade? Did they not use spring water? What made the ORGANIC Lemonade MORE organic than the other one?? Why would PN LIE to me! Paul! WTF? But then again… do I TRUST that the new owners of PN are not lying to me?? Or is it just fake packaging with the buzz word “organic” so I will pay $4 for 3 oz less lemonade?
So there is the lead in. Three aisles later after freaking out in my mind about everything organic that I thought was, now I’m checking more things I normally buy thinking they are organic and now there is an organic OPTION of the product… I felt lost in the wilderness like “into the wild” like when he figures out what he ate is GOING TO KILL HIM.
With everything else going on in my life, how MUCH is flying past me that I’m not noticing. Can’t trust the research I do, because the articles are lying, can’t trust anything! Can’t trust my booking agent telling me there’s no work when everyone I know is working, can’t trust my best friends who say everything is going to be ok, thinking everyone has lied to me and I’m just really noticing it….spiral, spiral… see where I’m going with this?
There I am. In the cereal aisle. First thing I see is Paul Newman.. shelves of it… thinking maybe I was at least finally still safe with the CEREAL. Alas! ORGANIC OPTIONS for PN cereal! I lost it. Broke down, heaving, crying, over cereal. Employees brought me tissues… I felt worse that I was crying over cereal and not wanting to explain the whole deal… I just said thanks.
What a day. Glad to have finally let it out… with half a chocolate bakery cake and scoops of ice cream later at home. All while drinking my organic rainforest nut coffee and all natural (I hope) cream. I’m going to get back to reading my fantasy novel now. At least I KNOW that’s not real, and the author intends it not to be, which offers an escape.

monster of some

There comes a time where I have to explain my tag "Jess of all trades, Monster of some." I like to create little monsters. Draw, paint, marker, clay, play dough... tin foil, whatever. My ultimate goal was to become one of those AMAZING people who get the title "Creature Creator" or "Creature Effects" on the end credits. I wanted to be the head dog when it came to making the three headed ones.



Uh, that dream was put on hold/abandoned. I still want it very much, as my ideal job would be to sit at a desk and design creatures all day long with pen and ink... though I chalk it up to a pipe dream since my drawings are, well... above. Not very polished. So he's not a MONSTER, but I like to think I draw little monsters. This one, like so many, came from my head when I couldn't think of anything else to write in my journal... I start drawing in it. Everytime it's time to buy a new journal it's always a toss up to get lined or unlined (ruled or unruled). I like to get lines, and to tell you the truth my BEST drawings are those that are on lined paper... but then I think of a comment someone gave me in College that I should "get a real sketchbook! You don't want your masterpieces on LINED paper!" Thank you Jay LeClair for haunting my annual Barnes and Noble trip to buy a journal or or a sketchbook, jounal? sketchbook? Ruled, Unruled? Do I feel like I'll be drawing more this year? Do I feel like I'll be sketching more this year? Is there a book with only some lined pages? This past year I ended up getting the unruled journal with a nice bit of metal adornment on the leather cover thinking I would draw more, and alas... wrote more. So now I have this nice leather bound beautiful sketchbook... that I worried in all year without drawing much... having created a lined piece of paper to go behind the pages with "faux" lining so if I felt the need to draw, my masterpiece wouldn't have lines going through, but would ghostily be there as I drew.


And you know what I do with the journals? So sad for this one, but I cut out all the drawings and then burn the book. *SIGH*

Oh, and now I want to be in the Beginning credits, as VFX Supervisor, or at least Production Designer... way to abandon a big dream for an even bigger one. I should just stick with the hobby of drawing, and leave the dreams for sleep, and worry in my ruled journals about getting any job.

Whole Foods... who knew it was a social meccha!

Look at this dainty little pastry. It is a beautiful little work of Art and kudos to the Framingham Whole Foods bakery! Also thank you bakery manager for chatting with me today, as well as dear Jodie releasing this one from the case for me. It was completely heaven on the buds. Looking at all the pastries in the case was an art exhibit in it's own right. Almost too perfect to take one home, and then once you choose one, it opens the door to want to pick just a few more to bring home. Food 99% presentation. You bet your sweet bippy. I went home with this little sucker.

The other sweet surprise at our Whole Foods playground was that upon entering the store I ran into a co-worker from the past. The Store Manager from my years at the New England Aquarium gift shop. I would admire her when she would wear her giraffe print dress and brown almost Prada shoes during the time the NYANJA exhibit was up. An exhibit that I to this day have my Kenyan Drum, Thumb Piano, and wall banner on display. The funny thing is, I was just thinking about Marjorie YESTERDAY and reflecting on great times and wishing I would run into her again. She after all took me out to celebrate my going away, since she couldn't make the "Store's" going away party that afternoon at Legal's. Besides, Burkowski's was fun to close out my Boston inhabitance all together as I moved the very next day.

The Secret really does work people.

Can you see what I see?

I have been in a rut friends... but it's getting better. I jumped on my bike last Thursday and raced to the island 'till my dancer gams shrieked. Head down and unsociable I cycled past familiar beach exercizers. Incredible guilt followed as I didn't say hello to back to the passers, though I figured they'd get it since earbuds were obviously stuffed in to drown out thoughts. Trekked up one more slight hill on the trailscape and leaped off the bike. Wobbly I leaned on the guardrail. Hanging my head over, I pleaded to the water below to give me a sign that everything was going to be ok and I wouldn't lose my apartment here.

I looked up, and directly in front of me, was this. I used my LG Mint Chocolate to grab it. I'm still trying to believe and have faith in this "sign" a week later.