Organic Products. You’d think. I try my hardest to buy products that are non toxic, that are made from real ingredients by farmers and companies that respect the earth and treat their animals well.
I had a little breakdown at the grocers today. I was shopping for my typical organics, and came upon I understood to already use organic ingredients. After I helped a woman shorter than me reach some cream (not this brand pictured) I grabbed my Organic Cow (pictured!). I am lactose intolerant after taking certain antibiotics when my body defeated Lyme Disease a few years ago. Small price to pay I think to kick a disease. Though I REALLY MISS this milk brand. So I went crazy and picked it up. Especially since I knew I was going to be purchasing some quality coffee products a few aisles later. I am a coffee person. I almost NEED a good cup of coffee to read anything. (I had to go two months without it and it was as if I was coming down from heroine… who was I without my COFFEE?! Moving on.)
There are brands for years I know from researching are a sensible choice. Newman’s Own was one of them. Paul Newman started a company a long time ago that gave me hope that what I was buying was all natural and healthy for me. (much like Ben and Jerry’s). I was browsing PN selection of juices and went to grab the lemonade, when to my surprise, there was an ORGANIC PN choice among what I thought was ALREADY ALL NATURAL AND ORGANIC.
My mind was a little blown, but I let it go kind of, picking up the “organic” PN lemonade and moving on. My mind got the best of me. Did they not put organic lemons in their other lemonade? Did they not use spring water? What made the ORGANIC Lemonade MORE organic than the other one?? Why would PN LIE to me! Paul! WTF? But then again… do I TRUST that the new owners of PN are not lying to me?? Or is it just fake packaging with the buzz word “organic” so I will pay $4 for 3 oz less lemonade?
So there is the lead in. Three aisles later after freaking out in my mind about everything organic that I thought was, now I’m checking more things I normally buy thinking they are organic and now there is an organic OPTION of the product… I felt lost in the wilderness like “into the wild” like when he figures out what he ate is GOING TO KILL HIM.
With everything else going on in my life, how MUCH is flying past me that I’m not noticing. Can’t trust the research I do, because the articles are lying, can’t trust anything! Can’t trust my booking agent telling me there’s no work when everyone I know is working, can’t trust my best friends who say everything is going to be ok, thinking everyone has lied to me and I’m just really noticing it….spiral, spiral… see where I’m going with this?
There I am. In the cereal aisle. First thing I see is Paul Newman.. shelves of it… thinking maybe I was at least finally still safe with the CEREAL. Alas! ORGANIC OPTIONS for PN cereal! I lost it. Broke down, heaving, crying, over cereal. Employees brought me tissues… I felt worse that I was crying over cereal and not wanting to explain the whole deal… I just said thanks.
What a day. Glad to have finally let it out… with half a chocolate bakery cake and scoops of ice cream later at home. All while drinking my organic rainforest nut coffee and all natural (I hope) cream. I’m going to get back to reading my fantasy novel now. At least I KNOW that’s not real, and the author intends it not to be, which offers an escape.